Christmas Eve Prayer

Xander said the family prayer at bedtime on Christmas Eve.  He prayed, "Please help us to sleep well so that we can wake up regenerated."

January 2010

January 29, 2010

“Mom, you know that rock in Reece’s yard?  Well, it’s an asteroid.  Do you know how I know?  Because I smelled it, and it smelled like outer space!”

January 31, 2010

I was getting Alexander to bed and said, “Go to sleep so you can wake up in the morning and be happy.”  Xander said, “Mom, happy is not my thing.”

Xander's Weakness

Xander and Hannah were playing together tonight and chasing each other and laughing.  Xander stops in mid-chase and says: "Mom, I have discovered what my weakness is." I say, "Really.  What is your weakness?"
Xander replies: "'Hannah Smiles' are my weakness."

True dat.

Jealous brother?

This one kind of speaks for itself.  And to make it even better, Alexander DID get his own package from grandma and grandpap.

Xander's Contract

Alexander went with John to help set up things for our church's Christmas party tomorrow night. On the way there John reminds him that they are going there to work, not to play around. He says to John enthusiastically, "Yep. That's in my contract." "What contract?" John asks. "My personal contract," he tells him. "It says I'm here to help." Good boy, Xander.

November 14, 2010

Xander to John: "Dad, do you know what galaxy Jesus lives in?".
John: "Uh, no......".
Xander: "Jesus lives on a planet called 'Hope'".

All Terrain Tires

Today while driving Alexander home from school, a commercial came on the radio for winter tires.  Xander said, "We don't need winter tires.  We've got all weather terrain tires.  We can go through rain, snow, leaves, hottness, anything we want.  Well, except maybe trees and cement.".

My Jesus

Last week I was putting Alexander to bed. He wasn't happy with something I had done (like, make him go to bed) and he was mad at John, too, for siding with me. Usually when he doesn't get his way with one of us, he says, "I want my mommy!", or "I want my daddy!". Since he wasn't getting his way with either of us, he said, "I want my Jesus!" "I want him to come down here right now!" "I wish Jesus was a stuffed animal!".

Oh, to be like a little child.

September 24, 2010

Alexander and I play our own version of Slug Bug using Ford Mustangs.  He absolutely loves Mustangs.  I once told him that my dad owned a Mustang.  On the way home from school on Friday, he asked me if I ever got to ride in it.  I told him that my dad used to take me to school in the morning in his Mustang.  He then asked if my older brothers also got a ride to school.  I told him no, they didn't.  He said, "Oh, they had to ride the bus while you got to ride in the Mustang.  Stinks for them.  Rocks for you.".

September 2009

September 1, 2009: John was helping Alexander say his prayers. He thanked Heavenly Father for a few things and he was ready to close the prayer when John reminded him that he needed to ask Heavenly Father for those things that we want, that are good. Alexander’s eye lit up and said, “Whoopee Cushion!”

August 2009

August 19, 2009: It was Alexander’s first day of school today. I took him into his class and got him settled. He was a little bit nervous and didn’t want to talk to anyone or read a book, etc. I asked him if he was going to be okay. He said, “No, I’m bored.”

August 20, 2009: I asked Alexander what he did at school today. He said he didn’t know. I said, Did you do math? “NO” Reading? “NO” Science? “Mom, my day was just complicated, okay?!”

July 2009

July 6, 2009: Alexander to his swimming instructor: “Boy, I almost drown there. You know, I’m not drown-proof!”

July 8, 2009: Alexander was talking to me and then stopped suddenly and ran to the window. He said, “My space mother is calling me.” I told him to tell her hello. He said, “I’ve told her that I am staying here on earth and not going back with her.” I guess he must like me better than his alien mother.

July 22, 2009: Alexander: “Watch out, mom, that’s poisonous (an onion I was cutting) and it will kill you. And that will leave me and dad here all alone watching Star Trek.”

June 2009

Alexander was carrying around a pottery jar around and said, “People used this jar to carry water. And cookies.”

Alexander to his cousin, Brooke: “I want to grow up so I be a dad and adopt kids!”

May 2009

Alexander: "I can't believe Reece doesn't believe in aliens. I mean, I AM an alien!"

Alexander also set up his Spiderman umbrella in the front yard as his radar (like in E.T.). We came home from his friend's house and he asked me, “Have we received any messages?”

Clarifications

I realize that most people who will read this blog will know who Alexander is, but just to clarify, he has just turned 7 years old, so in my first post of January - April 2009, he was only 5 years old. I think that can sometimes make the comments he makes even more unbelievable and/or funny.

I've also attached a picture of Xander's "fashion" with a modification. Since John wanted him to pull his pants down over his boots, Xander decided to wear shorts the next time (and yes, he dressed himself). Nice face, too. So Xander.

January - April 2009

January 26, 2009: Alexander asked me a question that I didn't know the answer to. I said, "I don't know everything.". He responded by saying, "That's because you have the smaller brain.". Ouch.

April 9, 2009: Alexander was playing with my old Palm Pilot. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "I'm just doing some mobile banking.".

April 9, 2009: Alexander wanted a coloring book. I told him he could use some of his money to buy it. He said, "I can't buy the coloring book. I'm saving all my money for college.". We had talked about saving money for college, so I was feeling rather proud. Turns out he thought he needed to save money to BUY a college. Note to self: Be clear in your expectations.

April 10, 2009: Alexander was going with John to run an errand. Alexander dressed himself in jeans and his cowboy boots. He rolled the jeans up to his knees and when John saw it he told Xander to roll his pants down. Xander replied, "Then no on will be able to see the fashion!". Indeed.

April 16, 2009: Alexander: "Mom, did you know dad has Young Women Crackers?". Mom: "Do you mean Girl Scout Cookies?". Alexander: "Yes!".

April 17, 2009: Alexander was sitting at the counter in the kitchen. He said, "Mom, what's that noise?". I said, "It's you, banging your feet against the counter.". Alexander said, "No, it's the money you could be saving with Geico. It's been staring at you forever.".

The Wisdom of Alexander

I am fortunate enough to be mother to an awesome little boy. Ever since he was a baby he has showed an interesting level of humor. He used to stand in his crib, babble on and on, and then slap his leg while laughing, as if he had just told me the funniest story. I thought it was hilarious but I never really thought he knew what he was doing.

Then he grew up and I realized that yes, he did know what he was doing. He is one of the funniest kids I know and he gets adult humor - meaning that he finds funny the things other adults find funny, and he knows WHY it's funny.

And like every other kid, he says the darndest things. We started calling them Xanderisms. I don't know when we started keeping track of them because I have written them on post-it notes or anything else I could write on, but I did start writing them in a word document about a year and a half ago.

I have about 30 Xanderisms. I'm not sure how to get caught up with posting them. Maybe I'll just start posting a few at a time, as I know that there will be many more soon to come.